It can be challenging to let others in on your problems, goals, and your own perceived shortcomings in making them happen. Here is a small list of thought-provoking questions to help you determine if the process of therapy, or life coaching, is working for you.
Is this person hearing me?How do they show it? How do I perceive someone hearing me? Are their behaviors consistent with what I expect?
Is this person genuine? How do I find myself responding physically and emotionally to their energy?
Is this person aligning with/aware of my goals? What skills are they showing in helping me to get there?
Am I noticing changes in myself and the world?
Are their recommendations and support helping me to feel empowered outside of our sessions?
Do I feel as though I can safely share the most difficult moments of my life and the worst things I have ever believed about myself with this person? If not, what is it that feels like it’s getting in the way?
Can I be fully honest with this person?
Are they pushing me by challenging me, or are they just checking in and hearing me vent? If the latter, is this because they want me to keep coming back for their own secondary gains, or is it because I’m hesitant to go deeper? What would help me feel safer to go deeper?
Is this person acting like they are more of an expert in my life than I am? Do I feel that they can recognize and value my strengths, skills, and struggles?It goes against most therapy and life coach teachings for the coach or therapist to act as if they are the expert in their clients’ daily lives and challenges, so if their ego is getting in the way of your work, it’s time to either confront them or find someone new.
What evaluations and methods are they using? Are they taking the time to properly educate me on them? How do I know they’re working?
How will I know that I have reached my goals?Are my own expectations and benchmarks matching up with theirs? Have we had this conversation?
Do they take the time to educate themselves on things that are important/relevant to me, or do they expect me to constantly be the one educating them?
Rebecca L. Toner, MA, LPC
Freer of Souls. Connector to Purpose. Healer of Lives.